The New Joy of Sex

Alex Comfort and Susan Quilliam

Mitchell Beazley, London (2008)

Paperback, 288 pages, including index

ISBN 978 1 84533 429 1

Sexology (the specialist study of sexual matters) has come a long way since the first edition of this book was published in 1972. Alex Comfort’s aim in the first publication in 1972 was to provide the lay reader accurate information on sexuality and grant them permission to use this in their own lives. Set in a time when the women’s liberation was a new event with the recent emergence of the contraceptive pill, and cohabitation, easily available erotica and gay rights were emerging issues in the sexual landscape, the book was in its time a ground breaking effort to offer ‘sexual bibliotherapy’ to the masses; and stimulate creative imagination. Measured by book sales, it did in all probability achieve this goal!

The 2008 edition of the book is written for a mature lay audience. It does, however, provide fascinating titbits for professionals in the field. The author of the revised version (in her words) attempts to ‘to recreate TheJoy of Sex for the contemporary world’. The 2008 version maintains the strongly sex-positive theme established in the original, while reframing it on the premise that, driven by an information explosion and technological advances, intimacy and sexual behaviour have changed radically since that time and that many sexual concerns of today were unrecognised in 1972. The author is a relationship psychologist well known in the UK as a writer, scientist and therapist, and the expansion of sections on body modification, sex toys and alternate behaviours, as well as the theme through the book that women can be as sensual as men and just as capable as initiating sex, is refreshing. Another important advance is the author’s ability to keep the blend of biological with the emotional and social aspects of sex in the original version and interweave recent research on the science of desire, arousal and bonding in a manner understandable to the lay reader. New research in sexology is well integrated in the text (e.g. the work done by anatomist Helen O’Connell on clitoral structure and the role of brain hormones oxytocin and prolactin in couple bonding).

The array of sexual advice is impressive and sometimes somewhat daunting. The use of peacock feathers, big toes and tongue baths, birdsong orgasms (where you make as much noise as you wish) and the 15 possible positions for sexual intercourse (graphically illustrated) could be either extremely interesting to an adventurous couple, or excessively threatening to the more conservative. The book, however, is an excellent conversation tool for a couple who want to maximise their sex lives and sexual experience.

Medical advice and safe sex messages are cleverly interspersed within information on sexual behaviour (e.g. vaginal care, breast examination, condom use and signs of sexually transmissible infections). Even more important are the inclusions of the sections on ‘health’, which explores the issues of chronic illness and disability in a sex-positive light, as well as sex in older adults, with the timely warning for safe sex in the postmenopausal age group; and the excellent section on ‘safe sex’, which recognises changing sexual mores and practices with a frank discussion on condom use and sexually transmissible infections. For a sex therapist looking at the Permission, Limited Information, Specific Suggestions, and Intensive Therapy (PLISSIT) management model, the book is useful for the permission granting, limited information and specific suggestion stages. While hinting at the ‘little blue pill’, it does not provide guidelines or advice for intensive therapy; but then, that is not the intention of the book.

Sexual dysfunctions, while not attributed a special section, have been interspersed within the text. This, while frustrating for sexologists who are used to indexes with specific search terms, is probably a far more informative structure for the lay reader. The content is conveyed in a light-hearted and non-threatening way (e.g. the discussion of premature ejaculation comes under the heading ‘hair trigger trouble’; vaginismus is discussed in the section on ‘penetration’ and erectile dysfunction is discussed under the heading of ‘performance’). Whereas some sexologists would cringe at this location for erectile dysfunction, the section on performance commences with the myth buster that ‘the conventional male fantasy of being able to perform anytime anywhere is totally unrealistic’ and goes on to report on recent statistics and management of erectile dysfunction.

On the negative side, there are a few features of the book that make it somewhat cumbersome to read and to use as a bibliotherapy tool. The information is structured as a cookbook; moving from a simple meal to a gourmet experience with a movement from ingredients through to sauces and pickles. This is set in the analogy of an orchestral approach to the plethora of sexual experiences. While interesting, this structure could become tiring after a while. This becomes even more complex when an automotive theme is overlaid (e.g. ‘All lovers will want to know what’s under the bonnet to make the car purr more sweetly’ – and before you get too excited, this refers to the hormonal drive of desire and bonding). I feel that this structure was more applicable in 1972 than it is for today’s readers. Further, the use of French terms, while interesting, will make this a difficult read for the non-Francophile lay reader (e.g. the natural pheromone scent titled ‘cassolette’; or the sexual positions of ‘flanquette’ and ‘cuissade’).

Although the graphics throughout the book are both educational and informative (as well as great for sex therapists to use in couple sessions), the range of photographs of a perfect young couple in various stages of undress and sexual behaviour (especially in colour at the beginning of the book) seem redundant except for their erotic potential for the lay reader. A more conservative couple or even sex therapist might be uncomfortable to use this book as bibliotherapy for this reason. The same information and message could have been transmitted without this bit of titillation.

As a long standing sex educator, researcher and therapist, I have learned new snippets from this book, including the use of ear lobe manipulation and the big toe as a tool for full sexual satisfaction and orgasm. I would recommend it as a useful bibliotherapy tool for couples who want to be imaginative and creative in their lovemaking.

Dr Patricia Weerakoon

Senior Lecturer and Academic Coordinator of the Graduate Program in Sexual Health

The University of Sydney